A Day in Dubai

The Holiday inn? - like any holiday inn anywhere! - the first thing on our agenda? - 2 hours of planned sleep.

Rise - off to the Mall - out of the hotel - that is nice! - a warm day - a light breeze - onwards towards the Mall - Dubai is a city for cars and not for pedestrians - plenty of entries for cars but for pedestrians? - the ingress to the mall not obvious either to us or the other tourists - decide to get with the strength - enter through the Carpark - then through the glorious entry designed for those who are "vehice-ly" well endowed.

What a terrible place! - a "shop -a- holic's" fantasy - a shoppers' Las Vegas? - feels like it! - on no! - there it is - St Moritz in a bottle - the infamous indoor ski slope occupying pride of place is a mall in one of the hottest places on our tiny planet - we look through the glass at the kids in their ski gear - at slopes and chair lifts - at sleds and toboggans - I think back to my childhood - If this is St Moritz in a bottle there must be a button I can push to turn the bottle upside down so that it snows on demand.

More wandering through the forest of imported commercial enterprise - same old - same old - could be Chadstone - could be the Queen Elizabeth Arcade - could be New York - could be anywhere! - what is different? - quiet at 11:00am! - prayers? - cafes hard to find - expat - expat - expat - more expats - tourists? - less them expected! - perhaps they are yet to rise - there is a restaurant - only thing open - Californian pizza place - inappropriate on the Arabian Peninsular? - sure! - at home in the Mall of the Emirates? - absolutely!

We are experts now - through the Carpark - towards the hotel - Bernie's neck and shoulders suffering A380 "itis" - there is a massage place! - be careful ! - check out those signs outside - no - seems OK - anyway - this is Dubai - they don't even allow bikinis on the beach - ok - Bernie leads me in - up to reception - The lady on reception duty looks a little disturbed - it is ok - it must be that we have disturbed her having a quick bite of lunch - she rises - she fumbles - she pushes a price sheet at us - Bernie waves it away - points at her shoulders -15 minutes she says - the receptionist is lost for words - she mumbles - she looks sideways - she recovers - converses in Arabic to someone behind a string curtain - she pauses - she recovers her composure "only for man" she says - even for the enterprising Arabian Pimp behind the string curtain the thought of an Australian women leading her husband in for a "special massage" is too much to be bear! - BERNIE decides we should leave.

Gather in the hotel reception - something to fill in some time - An Arabian Adventures Tour into the desert - think to ourselves - this will be a rip-off!

Join four delightful Germans in a Toyota - pass the recent conversions of oil into concrete that are the suburbs of Dubai - pass signs pointing to academic city - international humanitarian city - this city - that city - a failure of translation? - gradually the oil to concrete conversions become less obvious - the desert approaches - actually we are not alone! - there is another Arabian Adventures Toyota - there is another - another - yet another - they join us in convoy - we turn off the freeway - the road narrows - the desert becomes a mass of sandy dunes - the white sand blows across the dark bitumen - this is the Arabian desert of my imagination

What is that fenced sandy lane way that follows the bitumen? - ah - a camel road! - what is that ahead? - speed restriction signs - traffic calming structures - the Toyota slows to walking pace - the camel lane way wishes to change sides! - it is clear who has right of way here!

The convoy turns Into a national park - oh no! - the tourist stuff has started - this will be like every other ''Adventure Tour! - seems like it - the photo opportunity with a camel - poor thing - made to kneel - knees tied - nose net attached - don't bite the hand that feeds you! - a display of falconry - South African falconer! - where are his famous Arabian brothers in-trade? - actually this is not too bad - the organisation is efficient - hidden - slick - this is better than expected! enjoyable? - maybe!

Back to the Toyota - the tyre pressures have been dropped - the convoy heads into the dunes - Bernie' s voice changes pitch - she is both enjoying and hating this! - accelerate - climb the dune - brake on the crest - gentle down - accelerate - swing wide on the face of the dune - feel the impossible side slope of the vehicle - appreciate the angular momentum of the Toyota that keeps it attached to the dune face - approach the crest - brake - slow down the leeward face - dune after dune after dune - great fun - past an anorexic gazelle - slow - respectful - pass camels working the desert with their Arabian masters - climb to the top of the dunes - the convoy stops - time to experience a desert sunset.

I am surprised - why are the 30 odd Toyotas and their 200 disgorged passengers not annoying me? - we relax - we enjoy - the sun sinks - the timing impeccable - the people friendly - the atmosphere calm - relaxed - even the shyest of the tourists' cameras emerge from their hiding places to capture the sun as it sinks below the dune studded horizon.

Rejoin the Toyotas and its bothers and sisters - negotiate a few more dunes - enter the desert camp - low tables surround a carpet covered sand mesa designed to show the belly dancer to best advantage - the table lines in turn surrounded by wine and food stalls - the sophistication of the presentation cleverly hidden to enable a tourist with an agile imagination to convince themselves that they are guests in a Bedouin camp - even the most agile of minds could not sustain the illusion for long but the pleasure in the environment remained - the German tourists from our Toyota invite us into their larger German contingent - where are you from? - where are you travelling to? - do you like Germany? - Bernie joins them - Henna tattoos for the females - Bernie's cowardice apparent - only her finger is presented for adornment.

The wine stall? - we visit - visit - visit again - the wine? - adequate! - the starters line is announced - service tables? - numerous - the queues? - short - the faire? - superb - tasty - what about the buffet dinner itself? - slick - efficient - delightful - Arabian Adventure Tours - my compliments!

Towards home - relaxed - a great day - gee Bernie Dubai looks impressive at night! - what is happening to me? - I am starting to think kindly of Dubai.